Bitter Truths
by lewdness
Summary: As much as Riku hated to admit it, neither he or Roxas fit in on the Islands and as wrong as it might have been, the fact that there was someone else who understood helped alleviate some of the guilt from what they had done. [RoxasRiku, sequel to Lies]


Her Royal Banditness is made of all things awesome, so thanks for her encouraging me and making this not suck grammatically.

Also, if you read this, you should do a snow dance for me. We've been promised three times now, that there will be ice/snow and the weather has mocked us every time. So uh, yeah. Snow dance. xD

Oh, and enjoy the fic. :) Still not mine. :(

-x-

"Kinda weird, isn't it?" Sora asked, digging his toes into the damp sand with a small laugh. "I mean, being back an' all."

"A little," Riku answered quietly, looking over his hand as if he expected Way to the Dawn to appear. "It's not bad." Only it _was_. It –_this- _was everything that he had dreamed, strived and thirsted to escape from, only to be caught once more.

Sora nodded, kicking his feet lightly to send clumps of wet sand away and into the ocean with small plops. "Let's make a sand castle." He got up in a swift move and offered Riku a hand. Reaching out to accept it, Riku bit his lip as he noticed the contrast between them. Sora, Sora the hero, the savior of all the worlds, the defeater of Darkness itself; Sora, who was all tanned skin, bright blue eyes and a real smile on his lips. Sora, who when Riku drew back his hand and got up on his own, tried and failed to keep the smile from fading. "…Riku?"

Riku glanced over to the teen and stuck his hands in his pockets and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"…Nothing," Sora said, crossing his arms and making his way across the dock with the soft sounds of Riku following him.

-x-

School, Riku decided with a sigh, was just as tedious as the rest of the island. Everyone at school had looked at them like they were some type of fish that had decided to come on land, though it had faded after time for Sora and Kairi. _Of course._ They were much more amiable towards their fellow class mates, always smiling and laughing and fitting right in with the rest of them. Riku- he couldn't _do that_. He couldn't smile and laugh and act like he fit in because he knew he didn't. He didn't belong on the island of sunshine and sea-breeze, of the small towns where everyone had grown up together and…

Riku kicked at the damp sand and stared out past the ocean.

-x-

"It'll be fun, just watch," Sora assured, bending over and digging through his mountain of clothes that were just lying around –how he could tell what was clean and what was dirty, Riku didn't know. "Kairi's bringing some snacks; we've got the drinks and don't look at me like that." He turned his head around and mock scowled at Riku, knowing without having to look, the kind of face Riku wore. "Come on, Princess, it won't be bad."

Making a small noise of acknowledgement, Riku sat down on Sora's bed and waited for the younger boy to find the over-shirt that he was looking for. "Have you looked at what time it is, Sora?" he asked finally, casually drawing his fingers across the blue covers. "And what time did you say we had to-"

The look of horror on Sora's face was nearly comical, as he tugged on a pale blue shirt while doing an odd hop around the room as he tried to put it on fully. "We have to _go, _Riku! Why didn't you _tell _me? Oh, _jeez_." He turned around the room, patting his hair absently, looking for something. "Ri, you see my- oh." The brush he had been seeking was scooped up and he dragged it though his hair a few times before sighing heavily. Grabbing Riku's hand, he tugged them out of his room and sprinted down the stairs.

-x-

Sora was dancing with Selphie, turning her in wide circles, dipping her and laughing with the rest of them. Kairi was carrying a cup of pink lemonade, watching the two with a smile before bending to the side to listen to what Tidus was telling her. The music wasn't bad, everyone seemed to be in a good mood and if he were more ambitious he might actually join in with them. Wakka stood up from where he was standing, bowing in and stealing Selphie away with a flourish, leaving Sora to grin and rub the back of his neck as he made his way to Kairi.

Riku smiled wryly, taking a sip of his own drink while watching their classmates either dancing or simply chatting about random things. There was the short blonde girl who had offered to help him in their math class since he had missed so much school, the tall, black-haired boy on the Blitzball team who was a well-known flirt, and the quiet girl who always kept her hair in a pony-tail and glasses on the edge of her nose. He didn't know any of their names, he'd never taken the time to find out and the thought didn't bother him probably as much as it should have.

"What are you doing?" Kairi asked, suddenly appearing at his side and resting an arm on his shoulder. "Are you feeling okay?" She tilted her head to the side to examine him a little more, brushing back long silver bangs and pursing her lips thoughtfully. "Something's wrong."

Flapping one hand at her, he pulled away and forced a smile on his lips. "No, nothing's wrong. It's just been a long day. I'm-" Riku froze, feeling a pulse of energy whirl around them like a thick and oppressive rush of air. Clenching his jaw for a moment, he stared at Kairi before realizing that she hadn't felt _it_. "I'm going for a walk."

Kairi drew back and watched him slide away from the music and the lights, fading into the wash of shadows. Part of her wanted to follow, but it was his choice and he had a right to privacy.

-x-

His shoulders were tense, his left hand held at the ready with the tingling sensation of Way to the Dawn lingering, waiting to be summoned at the slightest thread of a demand. The darkness wasn't what he had felt while in The World That Never Was, but it was a form of it that he had grown all too familiar with.

Glancing around the beach, Riku took note of the fact it was only the moon and the dim lighting coming from the party that let him see where he was going- it was the moonlight that gave away where the blond boy was sitting. Not brunet- _blond_. "Roxas."

Turning his head to the side, the teen drew his knees up a little closer and rested his chin on them to stare out into the ocean. "I don't need to wander, anymore." He smiled, a fake little twist of lips. "And neither do you. But, the real question is, was it worth it?"

"Let him go," Riku ordered shortly, his voice clipped and as even as he could make it. When Roxas didn't respond, he growled and stalked closer until he could grab one slender arm. "Roxas, I'm serious. It isn't your-"

Roxas shrugged out of his grasp gracefully, drawing back and looking up at the older boy thoughtfully, a hint of that wicked smile still on his lips. "You know," he began, "Sora doesn't remember anything about what goes on when I'm out."

Understanding almost instantly, Riku jerked back fully, fists clenched with rage. "Fucking let him go, Roxas, you don't have any right to-"

"I have every right, _Riku_," Roxas snarled back, his ice-blue eyes narrowing in an instant. "It's as much my body as it his and it would do you good to remember that." He jumped down the short distance to the sand and stalked forward, his image almost fully Roxas with just the faintest glimmer of Sora behind- almost like if someone was looking through fogged glass. "You haven't changed, have you?"

Lips in a thin line, Riku kept a steady glare on the blond, his feet parted and firmly set into the ground in case Roxas decided that he was going to fight. This was the last thing he needed right now, the very last thing. "Let Sora go."

A harsh laugh split the air as Roxas strode forward, his entire posture screaming his utter arrogance and confidence. "Nothing really has changed," he mused. "Do you remember what I called you?" Both of his hands raised up to cup Riku's cheeks in a pseudo-caring gesture. The stoic way that Riku was acting didn't seem to annoy him; rather, it seemed to amuse him even more. "Liar. That was what it was. And you still are- you haven't even told Sora anything."

Riku reached out in a swift move, his hands curling in the edges of the blue shirt he-_they_ were wearing. "Sora doesn't know, does he? He doesn't know that you're stealing his body whenever you like?"

"Any mark that you make on me will get reflected onto Sora," Roxas warned, even as he slid closer and let his fingers slide down Riku's throat teasingly. Unable to resist teasing a little more, he lifted one of his hands and stroked a thumb across Riku's bottom lip.

Riku's pretty, expressive blue-green eyes widened with shock and realization and he released his grip a moment later.

Pleased, Roxas smoothed his hands down the shirt and smiled up at the older teen, his own eyes still cold.

-x-

"That was an awesome party, wasn't it?" Sora asked, sprawled out on Kairi's pink bed, one of his arms and one of his legs both hanging off the edge. "Kai, do we have any of the juice leftover? I'm thirsty."

Kairi glanced back from where she was curled on the small couch in her room, thumbing through a book. "Downstairs, maybe. Go raid the kitchen if you want, it's not like you haven't before."

The brunet shot her a dirty, insulted look, throwing a pillow at her in mock anger before rolling off the bed and making his way to the doorway. "Ri, you want anything?" he asked, one hand holding the doorknob as he waited. The older teen didn't respond instantly, his blue-green eyes focused intently on Sora's own as if he were looking for –or at- something. "Sora to Riku, wake uuup."

"…Sorry, I…" Riku trailed off, dropping his gaze to the ground. The boy really didn't remember what had happened the night before. "I'm not thirsty. Thanks."

-x-

Someone was watching him; someone had snuck into his room (badly, at that, because he'd woken up at the creak of the floor) and was now just sitting beside his window watching him sleep. Roxas. He knew the feel of the blond all too well and if the slight sound hadn't woken him up, the tendrils of darkness that he could feel ghosting around his room would have. This, of course, brought about the question- why the hell was Roxas watching him sleep, of all things?

"Why are you in my room?" Riku demanded quietly, rolling over in a swift move and letting Way to the Dawn materialize in his hand, a comforting weight. Roxas didn't seem worried in the slightest, and sourly, Riku realized why. He couldn't do much of anything to the blond without hurting Sora in the process and that was the last thing that he wanted- _would_ do.

"The islands are boring this late at night," Roxas began lazily, straddling the open window with easy grace, his tan skin appearing a shade lighter in the moonlight. "Not much to do, is there?"

Riku didn't respond, but lowered his Keyblade, knowing there was nothing that he could do with it.

Roxas smiled the slightest bit at the minor victory. "There really isn't."

"Get _out_ of my room."

With a quiet, mocking laugh, Roxas obeyed, slipping out the window just as quietly as he had come and leaving Riku staring out the window.

-x-

"You come here a lot," Roxas observed quietly, his ice-blue eyes sweeping over the still form of Riku sitting on the beach wearing nothing but a pair of raggedly cut blue shorts, his toes just barely getting licked by the slight waves. The older teen looked almost surreal sitting there, his skin seeming unnaturally pale and his hair appearing even shinier in the moonlight. "Do you miss it, then?"

Riku glanced over and then back to the ocean. "What?"

"The silence. The beach of Nothingness." Roxas took a few steps forward and then sat down gracefully about five feet away, looking out to the ocean as well.

_("I've been to see him." A pause. "He…looks a lot like you.")_

"No," Riku answered quietly, dragging his hands through the soft, white sand.

Utterly frustrated, Roxas clenched a hand and turned around so he was on his hands and knees, glaring at the other boy. "Fucking liar. You miss it just as much, if not even more, than I do. This isn't where we belong- we never belonged here to begin with."

Aqua eyes naught but narrow slits, Riku turned to the side and returned the glare. "Don't you dare think that you can even begin to understand me, or how I feel about any of this." He moved to get up, startled when Roxas hurled himself at him, knocking him back down again. "What are you _doing_?"

"You're pissing me off," Roxas growled, one hand curling around Riku's neck in a warning grip, the other holding one wrist down as he straddled the Keyblade master's hips. "Don't even act like you belong here, because we both-hgck!"

Riku swung his free hand out, catching Roxas squarely in the cheek and knocking his head to the side to give the taller teen a chance to switch their positions, leaving Roxas pinned into the sand, glaring up. "What part of 'don't act like you know me,' didn't you fucking _get?_" he demanded, catching both of Roxas' wrists and slamming them into the sand above the blond's head.

"Better," Roxas breathed, arching up once and laughing wryly at the startled look on Riku's face. It took only a split second for him to arch his back again and shift his weight, before he'd thrown Riku off of him and then they were fighting in the sand. No Keyblades were involved here, it was simply fists and feet and _fuck_, Riku was sure he was going to have a bruise on his stomach from where Roxas' knee had just hit because his breath was knocked out of him.

Rolling over, Riku cursed as he caught another fist, this time on his jaw, before landing one of his own in Roxas' stomach. Within minutes, scratches and bruises littered both their bodies, Roxas' (Sorasora_sora's_) shirt hopelessly ripped and dirtied with sand, grit and blood. Riku wasn't doing too much better; he was sure that his body was going to be one lovely colored bruise in the morning. "What the hell does 'better'-ngh- _mean?_" Riku demanded, spitting out sand that had gotten into his mouth when Roxas had leapt at him and slammed him back into the sand. There was no response, only Roxas pausing for a moment with one hand on Riku's shoulder and the other tangled in his hair, nearly a mirror of the same hold Riku had Roxas in just a few minutes ago. Both were panting, and Riku's lip gleamed with the slightest hint of blood from either something connecting with it or biting it in the middle of the fight.

Riku arched up in an attempt to free himself, only to find that he was shoved back against the sand and still helpless. "Nothing," Roxas answered breathlessly, rolling his shoulders absently. He'd missed the feel of doing _something_, from arguing to fighting; to just feeling that he was _alive_ still and not trapped inside another person's body. And gods help him, if Riku kept looking up at him like that, then he wouldn't be held responsible for his actions.

"Now who's lying?" Riku gritted out, forcing himself to relax and bide his time. They were silent for what felt like a year and then Roxas bent down and kissed him, his tongue sliding over one blood-dampened lip, and it was so familiar that before Riku realized it he was arching up once more. Not to escape, but arching up and holding the other boy close, kissing back just as furiously, ignoring the coppery tang of blood and focusing on Roxas while trying to fight back the memories.

_(Roxas' laughter cuts off as he leans forward once more until their lips were no more than a hair's breadth away from each other and then he kisses Riku again and again and again.)_

Gasping for a breath, Roxas pulls away for a moment, dragging one hand through Riku's hair and pressing his lips to the older boy's throat, biting gently. A small, needy sound escaped Riku as he slid one hand under Roxas' loose blue shirt, ghosting over warm, firm skin and then they were kissing again.

_(The older teen absently thinks that this was probably what tasting a lie was like, but at that point, drained of everything, he can't find it in himself to care. It wasn't Sora, but it was as close as he was going to get right then.)_

Shit. Sora. _Shit. _

Riku groaned, pushing away the blond teen and scrambling way, hating how his entire body was thrumming, hungering for that touch once more. "Get away, damnit." He forced himself to his feet, his hands clenched tightly into fists. He couldn't do this again, not again, and not to Sora. "Curaga."

Green light flickered around them briefly, settling around them and soaking into their skin leaving behind unharmed skin. Roxas looked startled, Riku realized, licking his lips absently and then scowling. "Change the shirt or Sora will know something is going on once he wakes up in the morning," he advised quietly, turning around and making his way away from the beach. Behind him, Roxas laughed quietly and let himself fall back into the sand with an irritated sigh.

-x-

Riku found that the next morning he couldn't look Sora in the eye. At about noon, he had entered Riku's room and proceeded to jump on top of the sleeping teen, grinning when Riku tried to shove him off and nearly wound out falling out of the bed himself. A muffled, "Go away, Sora," was the clue that something wasn't quite right. When the brunet asked what was wrong, Riku had simply waved it off as he wasn't feeling well and that sleeping it off would be the best idea.

Sora had nodded sagely, ruffled Riku's hair and told him to get better fast. The moment he was out the door Riku curled closer into the covers and tried to force himself to go back to sleep and ignore the guilt boiling inside him.

-x-

"You're not asleep," Roxas drawled from his normal position straddling the open window. "And if you were, you're awake now."

Riku was quiet for a long time, simply curled in a single sheet, debating on either getting up, or if he was quiet long enough that Roxas would lose interest and simply leave. After what seemed like forever he gave up, rolling over and glaring at the blond. "Don't you have something better to do?" he asked quietly, yawning a moment later. "The islands aren't that small where you have to come here every single time you're bored."

Roxas' face was unreadable as he toyed with a loose string hanging from Sora's overly-large shorts; Riku recognized them as the ones that the brunet had claimed after a sleepover, declaring that they looked better on him anyway. "I want a fight."

"…What?" Riku sat up and swung his legs off of the side of his bed, cocking his head to the side. "It's three in the morning and you woke me up because-"

"_So?_ What does it matter what time it is?" Roxas broke in, impatience tinting his voice. "Are you going to do it or not?"

Hesitantly, Riku nodded, wondering if he was signing a deal with devil.

-x-

It was almost deadly silent by the beach, none of the animals that lived on the islands making noises leaving nothing but the dry rustle of leaves and the gentle licking of waves against the sand. Riku tightened the laces of his shoes, unable to quell the rising sense of excitement that came with the adrenaline rush and promise of fighting. Both teens were stretching quickly and then Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Ready?"

Summoning Way to the Dawn was just as natural to Riku as it had been months ago and it no less comforting either. "You're asking, this time?"

Roxas dragged a hand through his bangs, Oathkeeper appearing a moment later casting a dim, nearly ethereal glow across the sand and water. A crooked smile was Riku's only answer before Roxas was charging him, Keyblade held high.

Metal crashed against metal, Roxas barely waiting a second before ducking down and swinging his elbow out and then in, connecting with Riku's stomach.

Gasping, Riku darted forward, feinting to one side and switching to the next, hitting Roxas squarely in the shoulder and knocking him to one knee. That smile was still on Roxas' lips, even though his shoulder was burning in protest and his arm was tingling. It seemed that there was an unspoken cue for them both to rush at each other again, shoes slipping in the sand but not making either one fall. In a move that Roxas had no chance to see, Riku tangled his fingers in the front of Roxas' (_Sora's_) shirt and practically threw him back a few feet. Startled, Roxas had no time to recover, stumbling and falling into the water with a yelp.

"_Shit._" Roxas surfaced, spitting out a disgusting mix of salt and sandy water. His eyes were burning and squinting slightly he could make out the still form of Riku standing on the shore, with one hand clasping a sluggishly bleeding wound on his chest. "Your stupid water stings like a bitch," he complained, clenching his jaw at the icy-cold sensation as he stood up and caught the cold ocean wind full force. There was no response from Riku as he watched the other boy climb out of the water and kick off his soaking shoes. Pausing for a moment, Roxas let his eyes wander over the form of the taller boy.

He didn't belong here, didn't belong on the islands of summer and light, no more than Roxas himself did. If anything, they belonged

…_leaning back against the cold wall of one of the multiple buildings, uncaring of how naked he was besides his half-laced boots and thin shirt, one glove on the ground, the other on, and sloppily zipped coat. _

The World That Never Was, that was the only place besides Twilight Town, that Roxas himself could call home. And even then, he found he couldn't return there- wouldn't return there, even if given the chance. In The World That Never Was, it was easy to blend in.

_It takes all of Riku's self-control to not slide his hands into golden hair highlighted by the neon lights of the city, but he does anyway because he has no fucking self-control. _

"What are you doing?" Riku asked finally, scowling and shaking his bangs from his eyes.

Roxas didn't reply, stalking forward and summoning Oathkeeper once more. "You hate this place just as much as I do," he ground out, Oblivion appearing in his other hand a scant second later. "We don't belong here- you don't, no matter how much you'd like to pretend you do."

"Shut up, Roxas," Riku spat, blocking a swing and lashing out with his foot a moment later. All too soon they were fighting in the sand again, cursing and scrambling to keep from being beaten.

Shaking sand out of his hair, Roxas pushed himself back on his heels and smirked at Riku. "Gravity." The startled look on Riku's face was worth it, he thought vaguely, pointing a finger. "Stopga."

It took almost no effort to bind Riku's wrists together, jamming Oblivion into the sandy ground a moment later and looping the tie around that. The spells were wearing off slowly letting Roxas straddle Riku's waist after that. "You know what, Riku?" Roxas said quietly, leaning forward until they were chest to chest and his lips were pressed to Riku's ear. "I think I like you like this. Not that I didn't like you up against a wall, but…" He laughed quietly, nipping Riku's earlobe and then moving to press his lips against the boy's pulse. "I just might happen to like this a little bit more."

Swallowing hard, Riku shifted and tried to pull at his bindings with no luck. Roxas' body was cool and solid against his own, not quite as wiry and lean as Sora's, but still similar. _Sora._ "Roxas- Roxas, get off of me," he arched his hips and growled when he found the blond wasn't moving. How was it that each time they fought, he found himself on the bottom? "It's not…ah!" Riku's head went to the side as he clenched his jaw, willing himself to stop from making other noises that might encourage the blond. "It's not your body!"

"It's just as much mine," Roxas growled, grabbing Riku's jaw and turning him so they were face-to-face. "It's just as much mine as it is his, he was just here longer than I was."

Riku was quiet for a long moment, still except for his slowing breathing as he stared up into ice-blue eyes and what had come to be a familiar face. The Islands…he wasn't meant for them, he had known that since the beginning. And while he didn't relish the thought of sinking back into the darkness again maybe this was as good as it got. Nothing in his life seemed to go his way, so if this was fate's half-assed offer at something better than the worst it had given him previous to this, then so be it. Tilting his head to the side a little, he arched up and barely managed to press a kiss to Roxas' parted lips. He was already damned.

_(The older teen absently thinks that this was probably what tasting a lie was like, but at that point, drained of everything, he can't find it in himself to care. It wasn't Sora, but it was as close as he was going to get right then.)_

"What?" Riku asked quietly, relaxing back into the sand for a moment and staring up at the blond with an almost challenging smile. "Aren't you going to finish what you sta-?"

Roxas bent forward again, kissing Riku once more and tilting his head to the side a little when the other boy's lips parted invitingly. The abrupt about-face in Riku's personality had him briefly puzzled, but at that point it was better than fighting again when he was already sore from the previous hour of trying to nearly kill each other. It wouldn't have come to that, he knew, but from the way his shoulder was aching, it was relatively similar. Drawing back for a moment, his eyes flashed from Riku's barely parted lips up to his blue-green eyes; his own were narrowed with vague suspicion. It took only a slight shift under him before he bent back down and kissed Riku again, keeping it light and fleeting for all of a moment before Riku made a soft noise and nipped at Roxas' bottom lip lightly.

'_Sorry, Sora. I'm… I'm sorry._' Riku thought distantly, drawing in a sharp breath when Roxas deepened the kiss abruptly and- Sora…Sora would never know, would he? He was sleeping during the night when…

(_Roxas made a pleased noise and suddenly the kiss had nothing to do with teasing and everything to do with dominance_)

…things happened and he…would never know- and what he didn't know, wouldn't hurt him.

Eyes falling shut lazily, Riku kissed back with as much vigor as when he fought, his arms straining against the bindings in an attempt to pull the blond closer. "Ro…Roxas," Riku breathed, arching his back when cool hands made their way down his sides and teased at the edge of his shirt where it had ridden up previously. Reaching up, Roxas worked one hand at it, trying to get the knot untied while concentrating on Riku. It took only one freed wrist for Riku to push Roxas' hand out of the way and pull the binding off fully, leaving him able to tangle one hand in Roxas' golden hair, and dig his fingers into the small of his back with his other. The boy's hair was still damp with water, his entire body chilled from his dip in the water but at that point Riku couldn't find it in himself to care in the slightest.

The thought that this was (wasn't) Sora didn't occur to him, at that point, all he was thinking was that he had to hold Roxas closer while pushing at wet pants that seemed all to intent on clinging to his legs.

They were on their knees now, Riku fumbling to push Roxas' shirt off while still keeping the kiss going. Roxas' hands were equally in the way, coasting up and down Riku's sides, finally slipping under the loose shirt he wore and slipping over warm flesh. Refusing to play the submissive one right then, he pushed Roxas' shoulders down and kissed him hard, the two fighting again a moment later, not just for dominance but for the feel of skin against skin.

"Up," Roxas finally breathed against Riku's lips, both of them shifting awkwardly and then Roxas was pushing him to roll over onto his knees, both of them kicking away the rest of their clothes. A few moments after that came the familiar feel of fingers pressing into him, the burn of salt and quick stretching only making him moan almost embarrassingly loud for the quiet beach. Then came the pressure and heat of Roxas pressing into him, not quite as gentle as he could have been, but he'd been rougher with the other boy before and they'd both survived to repeat it. Gritting his teeth against the steadily burning sensation of pain, Riku clenched his fists into the sand and waited for himself to adjust. They could afford to be a little rougher than usual with a simple Curaga spell after everything and he was damned if he would let a little pain stop any of this.

"You're not going to move?" Riku managed, hating how unsteady his voice was, but it got the point across. A few testing thrusts, hot breath against his skin, fingernails digging into his flesh and Riku shuddered in pleasure.

Two hands came to rest on his hips as the younger boy leaned over the slightest bit, thrusting quickly and smirking vaguely at the small noises Riku made at the end of even the slightest move.

Just as Riku had thought about bringing his hand to stroke his cock Roxas shifted, pulling Riku back with him into an awkward backwards straddle where Roxas was kneeling with Riku practically sitting on top of him.

"Move," Roxas had murmured, biting Riku's neck lightly while his right hand slid down and curled around the other boy's erection, his grip just on the other side of too tight. Licking his lips and drawing in shaky breaths, Riku ignored the burn of sand on his knees and rose up the slightest bit, sinking back down and shuddering pleasurably when Roxas was even deeper than he had been before. His cheeks were flushed, mouth open as he gasped for a breath while finding a rhythm between the two of them, openly moaning every time Roxas hit that spot inside him that made him forget the nagging thought that this was wrong.

Roxas didn't remember it ever ending so quickly before this; maybe it was due to the length of time it had been since their last time together, maybe it was because they knew that the beach wasn't the safest part of the islands to be fucking and it had just added to the already forbidden feel. And that was just what it was, Roxas reminded himself, it was just fucking. They didn't- _couldn't_ feel anything for each other, not when he was still a Nobody and Riku was in love with the clueless little brunet boy who was his host. There was nothing loving or caring about it, they were two teens who simply had something in common and he didn't like having Riku call out his name in that way where it sounded like a prayer and a curse at the same time. He _didn't_ like just how good it felt when he was with the other boy; it was _Sora's_ residual feelings that had carried over to Roxas' own consciousness, to make up for his lack thereof. He didn't mind it, of course, but there was no way for him to truly like it, if he was lacking in his emotions. Having a reflection of Sora's didn't count, he told himself.

And after that, when Riku stretched out with a quiet noise of satisfaction and offered a hand to Roxas to help him up, Roxas tried to ignore the voice that was telling him how utterly attractive a sex-rumpled Riku was. Washing off in the ocean hurt Riku more than it did him, he realized. The other boy was moving gingerly, washing himself off with cold water to get rid of the residual sand, sweat and come from between his legs. Later, Roxas would tell himself that it was Sora's feelings of hating to see Riku hurt that made him mutter a quick Cure spell. Thankfully, Riku didn't say anything; he only gave him a raised eyebrow.

Finding their clothes was a little difficult, though when they were almost fully dressed, Riku stood still for a long time, just watching Roxas move about looking for his other sandal. They moved totally different from one and other, he mused. Sora was all over the place, a bounce in his step no matter what he did. Roxas was more precise, his movements careful and part of him dimly thought that he should be a little more broken up, or regretful about this, but the other part of him just…wasn't. Roxas was right. They didn't belong here, no matter how much they might want to. Nothing was right here on the islands, neither of them would be able to stay sane here very long without some kind of an outlet and this was it.

In the morning, when Sora leapt onto his bed and grinned at him, Riku distantly wondered if Roxas was looking at him behind Sora's eyes. And with only the smallest amount of guilt at using Sora's body, he said a quick good morning and left it at that.

-x-

…Are you dancing? I see no snow.

Lol, uploaded with the right fic this time. I'mmmmm an idiot.


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